What is happening to me?

My day started getting better. I don't really remember writing my first post. It seemed like I did it yesterday...weird...it's like time went by really fast. I don't even remember the panic I felt this morning. Was I brainwashed? At least all the bad memories are gone. Maybe I'm just sick.Do I have short term memory or something? What in the name of the Lord is happening to me? Is this the pressure of being eleven going on twelve? Is this what it's like to be a teen? I don't want to grow up! I'm serious this time. There's too much problems in the world. When I grow up, I want to hold a protest for world peace. Hey, am I turning into a hippie? I NEEP PROFESSIONAL HELP. I really want to go to a proffesional, but I don't know what to say. They're going to question me and ask my parents about my behaviour. Any professionals out there that can give me help? I don't want to grow up... There's too much pressure... I want to suicide... Someone, pray for me. Help me ask the Lord for guidance.